The Performative Friends / Associate / Colleague - Part I

Relationships are the currency of every room. Most people are performing transactions and calling it connection

  Whether you known me for 1 year, 5 years or 20+ years, stop and think about for a min – what do you actually know about me?

  If the answer is not much, that was intentional.  I never shared many details of my hobbies and the like with many people. And I discovered there was a cost.

In a world of Personal Connection, Business Connection and Community Connection, Relationships are the currency of every room.

I’ve spent years being what I would now call The Performance Friends/ Associate / Colleague – someone who shows up, agrees with the room and stayed agreeable.  And for a long time, I thought that was a considerate way to be.  The cost of suraface level transactional conversations are deeper connection.

By not showing up as myself, I created a barrier to human connections. People cannot find common ground with you if you never give them any.  And in turn if you go along with whatever any group is doing you can lose sight of who YOU are.  You’ll know when you are exhausted and mildly annoyed after most social activities because you kept all of your thoughts/opinions/likes/dislikes to yourself. 

If you don’t know who you are, how can you have agency over your own life?

This is what I want you to know. For more detail on my opinions, obsessions, and specifics, come back for Part II